Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Happy Joe

Recently I have been experiencing a unique surprise. This is a feeling inside of true heart-felt joy. It is the joy that I sense in being a part of life. It is the joy that I have of being alive. I call this feeling the re-emergence of "Happy Joe."

It is odd for me to say "Happy Joe." It is actually a bit uncomfortable. But the feeling inside is real. I recognize the feeling inside. It is like a glowing smile that warms and sparkles. As I kid, I used to live from this place. I used to create from this place. I was this place.

As an adult, I have devoted my life to going into heavier places. On a spirit level this was my choice. I wanted to learn how to be with trauma and deep personal pain. I wanted to access compassion, wisdom, and unconditional love. I did not know these healing aspects of myself existed when I was a kid. I just knew these energies were very much needed.

Somewhere along the way, on my journey through the deep and the heavy, I see that "Happy Joe" was set aside. I lost him a long while back.

This last summer, as my mom passed, I faced my greatest fear. I was losing the person that knew the real me. Today, I see that in my relationship with my mom, up to and including this year of her passing, I have been living the aspects that she knew I had inside. In loving my mom, I became the qualities that she saw in me. Through my relationship with my mom, I accepted and welcomed into consciousness "Compassion Joe," "Courage Joe," "Grace Joe," and "Unconditional Love Joe."

After my mom's passing, she visited me with a powerful statement and one powerful wish. She told me our relationship was not over and that her greatest wish was for me to love life again. My heart was filled with warmth, as I connected with her. But I told her that I did not think I could give her the wish. I did not think it was possible. I was aware of my wisdom and love but I had stopped believing a long time ago in "Happy Joe."

Months have gone by since her passing last summer. Unexpectedly, I have been noticing the happiness in those around me. My girlfriend and my father, I especially notice, are loaded with happiness. I am in awe of my girlfriend and the level of joy she radiates. And in the past few months I have seen a side of my dad that is beyond explanation. At 80 years old, he has turned off the television and he has begun rollerblading in the mornings, playing in the gym a few hours in the mid-morning, ballroom dancing a few hours each afternoon, and he has begun going out on play dates in the evenings to the movies, casinos, concerts, and more.

Why is this happiness coming alive all around me? Is it time for me to accept it? I can feel the support by all those around me. And of course, my mom is with me, along with many other angels and guides, helping from the spirit realm. It is still a bit hard for me to believe it. But it is true: "Happy Joe" is beginning to awaken again.

In my life I have been driven to understand the depth of human pain and suffering. Along the way I have been blessed to experience compassion, courage, grace, and unconditional love. Now very unexpectedly, I am seeing the opportunity to remember a part of me that was once forgotten.

Welcome back "Happy Joe."

Welcome home.

Joe Hurley
Excerpt from my winter 2007 newsletter.

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